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skip to content the emotions doctor control your life: master your emotions menu media kit contact me about me index to blog post by title and date featured welcome thank you for visiting my blog. welcome gifts as my welcome gift, i would like to give you the introduction and first chapter to my first book emotions as tools: a self help guide to controlling your life not your feelings emotions as tools toc_intro_ch 1 pdf and the first chapter of my second book beyond anger management: master your anger as a strategic tool chapter 1 and toc for website download . index to all posts secondly, in order to help you to find what interests you, i have posted an index to all of my posts. this is like a table of contents in a book. you can access this index by either clicking on the the “index to blog post by title and date” tab in the upper right hand corner. this will take you to an updated pdf which will give you the title and date that interests you. when you know the date, you can go over to the “archives”, click on the month you want and scroll down to the post you are seeking. the focus of this blog my focus in this blog is two fold. on the one hand, i want to educate people about their emotions. secondly, i want to publish information that you can use to improve your life and your relationships. in order to do this, i have two requests. 1. help me help you…leave a comment my intention is to post timely and useful information. the only way i can know if the information is useful to you, my readers, is if you comment on the post and let me know what you think, whether you agree or disagree with me. tell me if you find the information helpful or need me to talk about a subject in more detail. 2. . if you hurt emotionally…get some professional help! this blog is informational only! it is not intended to, and cannot, diagnose or treat any specific mental illness or psychological condition. if you hurt, psychologically, please get professional help. if you get sick or your car gets “sick”, you see a doctor or a mechanic. hurting psychologically is no different, does not mean you are weak, and is telling you that you need some professional help or advice. please… get it! therapy works! so, while i don’t provide individual therapy and can’t promise to address all questions, i will attempt to address issues which are of general use to both my readers as a group and to you, the originator of the question. if you have a question, post it in the comments section. so, enjoy the posts and let me know what topics, dealing with emotions, that you would like me to address. help me make this blog timely, relevant, and useful. thanks, again for visiting, ed daube, ph.d., the emotions doctor author emotsdoc posted on january 12, 2016 august 2, 2017 1 comment on welcome understanding feelings: sunglasses, the spotlight effect, and your world model (part 1) you probably looked at the title of this blog and said, “huh?” well, if you will bare with me, i’ll explain a very important concept that will help you make sense of some of the experiences you (or someone you know) have already had. a few years ago, i started a conversation with an acquaintance of mine by saying, “how are you doing?”. to my surprise, without even a pause, he looked at me intensely and said, “what exactly do you mean?” i wasn’t sure how to respond. so, i rather lamely said, “nothing, really.” i found out later from a mutual friend that this individual had been accused of having done something about which he was embarrassed. his comment to me implied that he thought i was prying or drawing attention to his situation. in fact, i knew nothing about what he was experiencing and was merely saying, “hello.” my initial question to him was only intended to communicate to him that i was acknowledging his presence. in other words, asking “how are you doing?” was the same as saying “hello.” clearly, my friend viewed my communication very differently than i did. if you have ever had a conversation “go sideways” and wondered what was happening, here is one possible explanation. each of us views the world, and our interactions with it, through a set of filters based on our past, what we may be experiencing in the moment, our expectations, and so forth. when our interactions with others are not impacted by emotions and there are no effective filters operating, our communication, generally, are clear and absent of misunderstanding. if, however, in an interaction, you get a response to which you automatically think “huh?”, then it is quite likely that the person with whom you are interacting has misunderstood what you have said (or done) and is viewing the interaction through a filter. sunglasses when you put on a pair of sunglasses (brown, green, grey, yellow), you notice that your view of the world appears to change. as you know you are wearing sunglasses, you realize the “change” is not real but is due to the filter you are wearing. but, imagine that you did not know you were wearing sunglasses? an experiment was done several years ago in which volunteers were fitted with glasses which turned the world upside down. initially, as you would imagine, they were disoriented. over time, however, they adjusted to their new perspective and were able to function “normally”. they functioned as if the filters were not there. but, the filters were there! we do the same thing with the filters we wear. we get used to them and may not be aware that they exist and impact the way we interact with the world. what are some of our filters? gender : are you misjudged as a man just because you are a man? are you misjudged as a woman in a professional setting just because you are an assertive woman. age : do people misjudge you based on their perceptions of your age (too old or too young)? race/ethnicity: are you misjudged by others based on your race or ethnicity? past experiences related to abuse, unfair treatment, feeling misunderstood or inadequate. to what extent might the past experiences of the individual with whom you are interacting be impacting how they are interacting with you? if this person’s past experiences have led them to be excessively self-protective, it is possible that they are relating to you, in the present, as if you are similar to those people in their past who misjudged, or mistreated, them. disclaimer it is important to point out that i am not, in this post, referring to someone who, as a “racist” or a “misogynist”, demeans an entire class of people based solely on a specific characteristic. while there certainly are filters that are operative which impact this person’s actions, dealing with these individuals can be very complicated. i am more interested, in this post, in people who may not be mean-spirited but who judge others and interact with them based on misinformation or stereotypes. for these folks, the extent to which their filters impair their interpersonal interactions is less severe than it is for a “racist” or a “misogynist”. misinformation and stereotypes can be corrected. attitudes that are mean-spirited, derogatory and demeaning typically are resistant to change. racism and misogyny are often denied, are abhorrent, and are very hard to redirect. in this post, i have introduced the concept of an individual’s filters and the idea that one’s behavior can be, unknowingly, impacted by their filters. in part 2, i will explore feelings, the spotlight effect, and one’s model of the world. author emotsdoc posted on august 1, 2018 june 21, 2018 leave a comment on understanding feelings: sunglasses, the spotlight effect, and your world model (part 1) using metaphor: ready, aim, fire or ready, fire, aim? do you know someone who gets angry, does something others view as inappropriate and, later upon reflection, realizes the inappropriateness of their actions and attempts to deny, justify, avoid, or apologize for their actions? the following post may help you (and maybe them) get a better understanding of wha

URL analysis for theemotionsdoctor.com

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Domain Name: THEEMOTIONSDOCTOR.COM
Registry Domain ID: 1646177919_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.wildwestdomains.com
Registrar URL: http://www.wildwestdomains.com
Updated Date: 2018-03-14T22:20:20Z
Creation Date: 2011-03-18T19:05:19Z
Registry Expiry Date: 2020-03-18T19:05:19Z
Registrar: Wild West Domains, LLC
Registrar IANA ID: 440
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: [email protected]
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: 480-624-2505
Domain Status: clientDeleteProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientDeleteProhibited
Domain Status: clientRenewProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientRenewProhibited
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
Domain Status: clientUpdateProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientUpdateProhibited
Name Server: NS69.DOMAINCONTROL.COM
Name Server: NS70.DOMAINCONTROL.COM
DNSSEC: unsigned
URL of the ICANN Whois Inaccuracy Complaint Form: https://www.icann.org/wicf/
>>> Last update of whois database: 2018-09-06T23:40:57Z <<<

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  REGISTRAR Wild West Domains, LLC

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